![]() ![]() Morty grabs her boobs and starts fondling her. I mean, really get in there and knock them around. JESSICA: Do you know what I want you to do with them? MORTY: Rename them? JESSICA: Squeeze them. MORTY: ( Rubs the back of his neck) Uh, that's flattering… and a little weird. Thank you! JESSICA: You know what I named these? My little Morties. JESSICA: Can I show these to you? Jessica opens her shirt, showing Morty her boobs. Jessica steps out from behind some of the numbers. Morty falls into a dream world filled with large number-shaped blocks. The numbers on the quiz jumble together as Morty falls asleep.) There's crucial things happening here every day. ![]() GOLDENFOLD: Yeah, you know what?! Aw, too bad! Tough! First row, take one. Jessica hears Morty and looks back, confused, not sure who’s saying her name. Morty, sitting in the back row, stares at Jessica, who sits in the front row, answering Jessica’s name for the questions. It's called math? And without it, none of us would even exist, so let's jump right in. ![]() GOLDENFOLD: Now, look, we're gonna be dealing with some real serious stuff today. Get away from the windows! Cut to the inside of Goldenfold's classroom. GOLDENFOLD: Alright, now, everybody get settled. BETH: Oh, Dad… JERRY: What? For real? Morty's face slams into his plate again. You really made the crap out of those eggs. Rick wipes his mouth and gets up, stopping behind Beth and putting a hand on her shoulder. And I know that's not a popular opinion, but it's my two cents on the issue. I mean, it's not a place for smart people, Jerry. G-guy up front says, "two plus two." The people in the back say, "four." Then the-then the bell rings, and they give you a carton of milk and a piece of paper that says you can go take a dump or something. ( Jerry stares incredulously at Rick.) Buncha people running around, bumping into each other. ![]() You're a real Julius Caesar but I'll tell you something-tell you how I feel about school, Jerry. I-I-I don't want to overstep my bounds or anything. JERRY: Okay, with all due respect, Rick - What am I talking about? What respect is due? How is my son supposed to pass his classes if you keep dragging him off for high-concept Sci-Fi rigamarole? RICK: Listen, Jerry. JERRY: What? BETH: Dad? RICK: What, so everyone's supposed to sleep every single night now? You realize that nighttime makes up half of all time? JERRY: Damn it! BETH: Jerry! JERRY: Beth! SUMMER: Oh my God, my parents are so loud, I want to die. SUMMER: Or maybe you were out all night again with Grandpa Rick. Maybe my dreams were just too loud or something. I just I didn't get a lot of sleep last night. BETH: Morty, are you getting sick? ( Morty lifts his head, clearly exhausted, and wipes food from his face.) I told you not to practice-kiss the living-room pillow. SUMMER: Oh my God, his head is in his food. Who do you guys think is gonna be the best singer? A very tired Morty falls asleep at the table, smashing his face into his plate. JERRY: I see there's a new episode of that singing show tonight. SMITH RESIDENCE The Smith family sits around the table eating breakfast. Just an elaborate test to make you more assertive. RICK: You know what? That was all a test, Morty. Right here on the side of the ree… road here. He opens the door and tumbles out among dozens of empty alcohol cans and bottles. DESERT Rick lands the cruiser in an open desert. MORTY: I'm taking charge of this situation, buddy! *starts kicking at his face while grabbing the wheel* I'm put-I’m, I'm, I'm, I'm puttin’… I-I’m, I’m, I’m not gonna stand around like some sort of dumb…dumb person and just le-let you ruin the whole world! RICK: Come on! What’s gotten into you? If you love Earth so much why don’t you marry it? *pushes Morty off of him* What are you, crazy? Alright, Alright, Morty! Rick manages to push Morty off of him. RICK: Get off of me, Morty! They begin to talk over each other. Morty jumps up on Rick and starts fighting for the wheel. MORTY: ( Unbuckles) That's it… that's it, Rick. She, she's probably nothing but trouble, anyways. ( Throws empty bottle into the backseat) Let's forget the girl all together. MORTY: I don't care about Jessica! Y-Yyyyyyyyyyou- RICK: You know what, Morty? You're right. She- sh-she- she, she, she's all for you, Morty. MORTY: What are you talking about, Rick? RICK: You- you don't have to worry about me getting with Jessica or anything. ( Spills beer down his shirt) You don't got… Y-You don’t gotta worry about me trying to fool around with Jessica or mess around with Jessica or anything. MORTY: No, you can't! ( Shoves Rick away) Jessica doesn't even know I exist! But- but, but forget about that, because you can't blow up humanity! RICK: I-I get what you're trying to say, Morty. MORTY: Whhhh-wha? RICK: And so that's the surprise, Morty. I'm gonna make it like a new Adam and Eve, and you're gonna be Adam. RICK: When I drop the bomb you know, I want you to have somebody, you know? I want you to have the thing. ![]()
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